Fruit and fibre

I became suspicious that carbonlite had sneaked some of his water saving 'hedgehogs' into the upstairs loo without telling me. After accusations were bandied about, it turns out that he'd merely cleaned the toilet. Well that's a first. "You're the most reluctant environmental campaigner I've ever met," said Carbonlite in frustration. He rummaged about in the cleaning cupboard and pulled out a large dirty black bucket, which he put next to the sink. "What's that for?" I asked pleasantly, reluctant to give him any further ammunition. "It's for the food waste. We to put everything in there, then once a week take it out to the worm bin. I assume you don't want the worm bin in the kitchen?" he said. I shuddered before replying, "but we haven't any worms. Or a bin to put them in." I was stopped from any further protestations by great excitement from the hallway.

"There's a dalek on our front doorstep," called the five year old. "Can we go out and see it?" The shadow of the dalek fell across the room as Carbonlite and I shoved each other out of the way to get to the front door. My partner's smile mometarily banished the shadow. "I'd better get out the back and dig up the paving stones," he hummed happily, "anyone coming?" "Is the dalek coming too," the boys shouted, putting their wellies on the wrong feet in all the excitement. Carbonlite noticed the confusion on my face about ripping up the patio. "The worms have to get in and out of the bin. In case the stuff inside ever gets toxic. Then they can escape for a while and come back when it's all calmed down." I didn't answer, I was too busy wondering if I could do the same. "By the way, the worms will be arriving in the post, shouted Carbonlite, as he lugged the bin through the house. "Now I know you're having me on." I replied, getting back to scraping food into the new black bucket.

When I went out later, Carbonlite had found a place for the dalek. "The children can just about squeeze their bikes around it. And we'll put the water butt over here." I had a momentary panic attack about a drowning incident involving our six month old toddler, but put it to the back of my mind and went inside. The dalek was concealed from view by the Wendy House and I knew Carbonlite was joking about the worms. Time to clean up that dirty old bucket.